Why did the programmer jump on the table?
Because debug was on his screen.
ProgrammingCategory: Any (208)
What are bits?
Tiny things left when you drop your computer down the stairs.
ProgrammingWhat do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
PunWhy did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
He was a dirty double-crosser!
PunI'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
DarkI was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
DarkHow did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking... JK, Rolling.
PunI bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
PunMy wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
MiscToday, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
PunWhat did the cell say when his sister cell stepped on his foot?
Mitosis.
PunThe past, the present and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
PunSchrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
MiscWhat do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
PunRelationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
MiscWhat's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
PunWhat is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
ProgrammingWhy did the koala get rejected?
Because he did not have any koalafication.
PunTo whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
PunWhat did the customer say to the waiter?
I'm all fed up with your service.
PunWhat's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
A cactus keeps the little pricks on the outside.
MiscWhy can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
DarkTwo fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
PunBeing a self-taught developer is almost the same as being a cut neck chicken because you have no sense of direction in the beginning.
Programming