Category: Any (208)

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

What do elves post on Social Media?

Elf-ies!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

What's Santa's favourite type of music?

Wrap!

Who is Santa's favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley!

What says Oh Oh Oh?

Santa walking backwards!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can 'ho ho ho'!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.

Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs?

She was caught trying to import pandas!

Why do programmers prefer using the dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.

How much did your chimney cost?

Nothing, it was on the house.

Why do they call it hyper terminal?

Too much Java.

Why was the mushroom always invited to parties?

Cause he's a fungi.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?"

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.

How do construction workers party?

They raise the roof.

I walked into a bar once.

It really hurt my head.