Category: Programming (75)

I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.

why do python programmers wear glasses?

Because they can't C.

Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

Because they didn't Node how to Express themself!

How did the programmer die in the shower?

He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Why did the database administrator leave his wife?

She had one-to-many relationships.

Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?

They work below C-level.

Why is Linux safe?

Hackers peak through Windows only.

UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.

Why did the Python data scientist get arrested at customs?

She was caught trying to import pandas!

Why do programmers prefer using the dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.

Why do they call it hyper terminal?

Too much Java.

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?"

Why did the programmer jump on the table?

Because debug was on his screen.

What are bits?

Tiny things left when you drop your computer down the stairs.

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

Being a self-taught developer is almost the same as being a cut neck chicken because you have no sense of direction in the beginning.

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock.

How did you make your friend rage?

I implemented a greek question mark in his JavaScript code.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

How do you generate a random string?

Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.

The six stages of debugging: 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

What is a dying programmer's last program?

Goodbye, world!

Your momma is so fat, you need to switch to NTFS to store a picture of her.