What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.

"99.9% of the people are dumb!"

"Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%"

My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.