Category: Any (208)

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.

Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you.

Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" [very long pause] "Java."

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

What is the best prefix for global variables?

//

Why did the JavaScript heap close shop?

It ran out of memory.

What do you call a group of 8 Hobbits?

A Hobbyte.

Two C strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get ya?" The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic." The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@" The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

Java is like Alzheimer's, it starts off slow, but eventually, your memory is gone.

What do you get if you lock a monkey in a room with a typewriter for 8 hours?

A regular expression.

ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.

A byte walks into a bar looking miserable. The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?" "Parity error." it replies. "Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

Why are modern programming languages so materialistic?

Because they are object-oriented.

"We messed up the keming again guys."

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.

How can you tell an extroverted programmer?

He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking.